Dear Reader,

Every therapist knows that beneath the surface of every session lies a collection of undiscussables, taboo topics that simmer quietly, sometimes unconsciously. These are the thoughts we sideline, the biases we bury, and the secrets we hold even from ourselves. We keep them hidden, out of reach, in the shadows of our practice. But what if exploring these edges was the very key to deepening our therapeutic work?

Taboo topics - those lingering, unspoken judgments, biases, and fears, are the boundaries of our own awareness. They are often masked by discomfort or silence, yet they hold profound potential for growth. A therapist's capacity to acknowledge and engage with these taboos not only fosters personal growth but models a powerful process for clients. What we do not face in ourselves, we cannot fully witness in others.

The Call to Adventure: Facing Our Own Taboos

It begins with a whisper of discomfort, a judgmental thought, a hidden bias, an avoidance of certain conversations. Maybe it's a discomfort with discussing sexuality, race, or death. Maybe it's the quiet judgment you hold about a client's lifestyle or the fear of addressing a client’s harmful behavior. These are not just barriers; they are opportunities. They are the edges that keep us from fully stepping into our roles as conscious facilitators of change.

When we notice these double signals, those moments of internal conflict, we are being called to adventure. The call is simple: explore the discomfort. Ask, “What part of me is avoiding this? Who in me judges this so harshly?” By mapping out our internal terrain, we begin to understand the forces at play and reclaim the parts of ourselves that have been sidelined.

The Guide: Discomfort is Data

Discomfort is not a problem to be solved; it is data to be explored. It tells us where our growth edges are. As therapists, we often encourage our clients to sit with discomfort, to notice where it lives in their bodies and what it signals. Yet, how often do we turn that lens inward? The taboo topics that make us hesitate are rich with information about our values, biases, and unspoken fears.

When we explore these edges, we model a powerful practice for our clients. We become more adept at noticing when we are colluding with a client’s discomfort or sidestepping critical issues. We build resilience to confront our own blind spots so that we can better support our clients in confronting theirs.

The Transformation: Beyond Judgment

At the heart of this work is the understanding that there are no ‘bad’ parts, only parts that have not yet been heard. Judging our own biases and taboos only pushes them further into the shadows. But when we can sit with them, name them, and explore their origins, we transform them. We move from judgment to curiosity, from avoidance to exploration.

This journey is not just for ourselves; it’s for those we serve. By confronting our own taboos, we expand our capacity to hold space for the full range of human experience. We become role models for authentic exploration, showing that even the most uncomfortable edges can be met with awareness and compassion.

Join us for The Therapist's Growing Edge: Taboo Topics in Therapy and take the first step in exploring the undiscussables in your practice. Discover the freedom that comes with meeting your edges head-on, and witness the transformative power it brings to your work and your clients.

And what about the unspoken in groups?

You can start by reading this newsletter and replace every use of the word 'therapist' with 'facilitator'. Notice - what does it raise for you? If you’re keen to explore these ideas further and what working with the undiscussables looks like in facilitation and groups – join us in person for a live group process at this years Process work conference: Diverse States of Getting Along – 22 & 23 August featuring intercultural leadership and collaboration specialist and facilitator, Mark Yettica-Paulson (Birrah, Gamilaroi, Bundjalung).

warmly

ANZPOP